Please note that there is sometimes (though not usually) up to a two week to one-month wait before I can get to your order, based on my performing schedule.
RUSH ORDERS CANNOT BE DONE: CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS
Welcome to the new and improved website of
Welcome to the new and improved website of Secret STUFF
E-mail me with questions, but first check the FAQ page.
A Message from Me:
February 2nd 2016
I'm pleased to announce that as of the above date (2/2/16) for the first time in recent memory I'M CAUGHT UP ON ORDERS. The last batch goes out today. My Inbox is empty. Now is a good time to order for prompt turnaround.
January 1st 2016
I'm getting orders out as soon as I can. As usual, they come in faster than I can get them out. I have discovered that a bunch of orders that came in during October were never reported to me by Paypal. So if you ordered something during October and haven't received it yet, let me know.
My DVD supplier, Kunaki, has a policy to delete DVDs when they're not ordered for over 180 days. So I noticed some of mine are no longer available. I'll upload the missing titals when I have a chance.
My life continues to develop complexities. My S.O. and I have taken custody of her two-year-old granddaughter, and having a toddler move in with you, when you're in your mid-fifties, is like having a bomb go off in your house. There have been some major life readjustments lately. The complications leading up to this (that is to say, the catastrophic events within the family) were why I may have seemed a bit underrehearsed, tired and distracted during my Penguin lecture. That I pulled it off at all was a miracle. To those of you whose kind remarks touched me, thank you. To those of you who posted snide remarks, who probably live in your mom's basement, never performed professionally in your life, never supported a family, know nothing of the pressures of self-employment or growing old, never had to deal with family catastrophes, probably enjoy socialized health care, and whose only concern for me seemed to be as a supplier of new cool toys--you can suck my dripping tool. That's all.
Speaking of new toys, despite getting about four hours sleep a night, I plan on news DVDS, new toys, and maybe a new book this year.
Other News: my son and I are working on reviving the Baby Hornet, so stay tuned.
June 8thth, 2015
Almost two months after surgery and physical therapy twice a week. I have greater use of my left arm, no real strength yet but flexibility, so I'm working on orders fairly diligently. TIME continues to be a problem. As I am the Personal Assistant of the Rev. Dr. S--G--, whose congregation grows exponentially by the month, my hands are full managing his reading and consultation schedule, producing his radio program, and generally help manage other matters of spiritual nature. My good lady had knee replacement surgery less than a week ago, so it's the gimpy leading the gimpy at my house. All I can say is be patient. You'll get your stuff.
The Baby Hornet and Skeeter continue to be DIS-continued, with no planned re-release date, so please stop asking. If I re-release either one of these, you'll read about it here. I'm going to stop answering inquiries about them. I don't mean to be rude. I just don't have time to restate what I've already said. Discontinued means discontinued. I don't have a secret private stash I can dip into for people who say the secret password.
April 27th, 2015
I've been convalescing from the rotator cuff/ biceps surgery (and why didn't my doctor friends tell me that surgery HURT?) and have been slowly getting back into the manufacture of products. I'm glad to say that I just completed a magnificent run of Brown Hornets, which will be going out this week. My left arm is still in a sling (and will be for another couple of week, I'm told) so ouch. And Please be patient. Physical therapy is next, and will be going on for six months until I'm back to normal. Torn rotator cuff: I don't recommend it.
LOST ORDERS: There has been an ongoing problem over the years with orders getting lost. This irks you, of course, but me especially. What am I to do? I'm in an ethical predicament. I've discussed this with several of my peers (who sell products) and they universally advise that my responsibility ends as soon as I drop the packages off at the post office. Yet, I feel some sense of obligation. Replacing the lost item is expensive to me, in both time and materials--and money. Furthermore, the buyer seems to expect ME to be abe to do something, as if I have some inside connection with the postal service. This is especially poignant with overseas buyers. Folks, once it leaves the country, I'm completely out of the picture.
Tracking is usually only available on Priority Mail, and in the case of overseas (non-US, in my case, ) this is expensive. So these lost packages are lost. Only occasionally do I ever see them again. about twelve packages a year are lost by the post office. In the past fifteen years, only five have ever been returned to me. I'm serious.
I'm attempting a solution. I've subscribed to STAMPS.COM, and from now on I'm going to use this service for all my shipping. Over the next few weeks, I'm going to restructure my shipping policies to protect your purchases better. This is for your benefit, as well as mine. The changes are as follows: (1) you'll be charged for postage with tracking. (2) you'll be provided with a tracking number and confirmation when your order ships. I hope to do this with all orders, foreign and domestic. This is a quantum leap forward in terms of my customer service. I hope you'll like these changes. Stay tuned.
January 20, 2015
As the new year rolls in, I'm still trying to reduce the turn-around time on orders. Please bear with me. I perform readings on average of six hours a day, still perform four to six shows a month, and I do have a personal life and family obligations. And some health issues which arise when you reach mid-fifties. Just always know that I'm doing my very best.
The main new is that I'm switching over to Staples brand notepads for the BUTTERFLY, MASCOT MOTH and all other notepads (except the PAPILLION of course). I used to buy the Meade pads for the Butterfly from Sam's Club, but I disassociated myself from Sam's for personal, ethical reasons and no longer am a member. Furthermore, it's easier for you to obtain replacements and duplicates from Staples.
The BABY HORNET AND THE SKEETER are discontinued. I don't know when or if I'll have them again. both require that I commission someone to cut the backboards for them, which means I have to get a lot of them--several hundred--and store them. We'll see. I'll let you know.
-- REALITY SUCKS:
I know when you order stuff you want it NOW. I understand. I, too, order from Amazon and wait with bated breath until gratification is sated. I understand your urgency. This last two months have seen a deluge of orders, and it's taken me as long as six weeks to clean up my backlog, which I sincerely regret. However, there are circumstances of which many of you seem to be unaware.
So I must reiterate what most of you long-timers already know: I'm not a magic shop. I don't have items in stock, on the shelf, or ready to go out the door. I make every item by hand, and a lot of work goes into each item. Some of them, such as the clipboards, take days to make because of the staining and adhesive processes. Nothing is factory made, farmed out, assembly-lined. Everything is made to order. I move all incoming orders to a folder, open the folder, make every order as I get to it. Which means if there's twelve guys in front of you, I'll get to you when I complete those guys' orders. This is only fair. I set aside two days a week to work on fulfilling orders. This is all the time I can spare. I receive a lot of orders. I get to them when I can. Most of this is explained in the FAQ page, which for some reason very few people seem to read.
Other factors include that I actually perform for a living, unlike many manufacturers of magician's props. I designed these things for my own professional use, not to make a quick buck. That's why they work, why so many pros use them, and why people keep returning to them after abandoning the latest toy-of-the-month. As some of you long-time friends know, I almost killed myself by 2010 performing and traveling way too much. I was doing between 100-125 shows a year, on the road constantly, and trying to keep up with the increasing demand for my products. In the winter of 2010 I collapsed with pneumonia. In fact, I recorded the Brown Hornet Tutorial about five days before I collapsed on my way home from a show in Indianapolis (which is why I look like crap on that video). I spent 2011 recuperating, writing a couple of books, going back to college, getting a divorce (the bad marriage was one reason I stayed on the road so much) and finally returning to my home town of Knoxville.
The bottom line is that I've cut back on traveling, stopped doing mentalism altogether, travel seldom, and have concentrated mainly on cultivating my private reading/spiritual counseling practice. And in terms of defining myself professionally, this is my first priority.
Since returning to my homeland, my spiritual counseling practice has taken off with a vengeance. Not surprising, as I'm really good at what I do. I find myself occupied with reading appointments, on average, six hours a day. Some in person, many by telephone, Skype, chat. Since I still perform three or four shows (or to be specific, speaking engagements) a month, and some performances involve travel, manufacturing products is shoehorned when I can do it. As I said before, I devote two days a week to handling orders, or more if I can find the time. I appreciate everyone's patience.
RUSH ORDERS: AGAIN, seldom possible. But if you live overseas, (or even in the US) and you need an order within a couple of weeks, I'll try to accommodate. However, I strongly advise you contact me about paying extra for expedited delivery, such as overseas priority or even express mail. I usually ship First Class Mail, which the post office assures me is 5-7 days. Sometimes, I'm told, in certain parts of the world, this has been more like 3-5 weeks. So if you truly need the stuff in a hurry, and if I have agreed to get it to you in a hurry, do yourself a favor and pay for expedited delivery. Yes, it's expensive, but you will get it in plenty of time.
A NOTE CONCERNING MY PRODUCTS:
Imp devices are subtle tools which require experience in audience management and psychological touches to use effectively. This is true of any Imp device, not just mine. If you're a beginner or have little performing experience, my tools may not be for you at this time. In the hands of an experienced performer they are foolproof and undetectable, but these are not for beginners.