My Health Log: Page Seven

This journal consists of SEVEN pages, archived for convenience. Please click on Page #1 below to start at the beginning!

 PAGE #1 Aug -Oct 2003 (newcomers, read this FIRST!) 

PAGE #2 Oct- Dec 2003

PAGE #3 Jan- Mar 2004

PAGE #4 April- May 2004

PAGE #5 May-Sept 2004

PAGE #6 Sept 2004- April 2005

PAGE #7 April 2005 -

PAGE #8 April 2005 -

June 2003 285 poundsApril 2005, 23 Months later: The Story So Far...

Synopsis: Around June 2003 I weighed close to 290 pounds and realized that the quality of my life was suffering tremendously.  To the left is a picture of me at 285 pounds.

I also realized that there was a definite connection between my emotional state and my weight gain.  In the past, I'd tried exercise and diet programs, but nothing provided a long-term solution. 

I formed a theory, based on Buddhist philosophy: I would go into the emotional underpinnings, get to the source of my emotional suffering, and eliminate the causes.

My approach was twofold:

August 03, 2003 273 Pounds(1) Concentrate on understanding and healing the emotional components.

(2) Totally ignore the food component, allowing my body to reach a "healing point" as my emotional health improved, and let my appetite adjust itself.  This is based on the assumption that we WANT to be healthy, given a healthy environment and state of mind.  I wasn't going to go on any "diet," wasn't going to restrict carbs or deny myself anything.  I was just going to pay attention to what I ate and what my emotional state was when I ate.

So I sought counseling, did some serious self-analysis, meditated on my personal issues, and documented everything here in this Blog for accountability. By August of 2003 I was down to 273 pounds, as shown to the left.

I also began to change.  As I peeled away the layers, I began to experience fear.

The problem with looking at yourself in your own mirror is that you often don't enjoy the reflection.  You have to confront the inescapable fact that you're less than perfect.  The picture at the left is me when I reached the 258 pound mark.

This was the point when I realized that everything I thought I knew about myself was a complete fabrication; that for most of my life I'd been a construction of other people's expectations of what I should be.  This realization triggered a lot of anger.

Where was the REAL ME?  Would I peel myself down like an onion and find nothing?  Was I just a straw man?

I was at an emotional crisis.  My mother had recently passed away, there were other problems within my close family, and it seemed like there was nobody but myself to rely on.  In the middle of all this, I had one thing to keep me centered: my reduction program.  I continued to work on my self-analysis, my weight reduction, and my spiritual studies.  For a long time, I was stuck at 250 pounds, though -- I couldn't seem to break this plateau.

One day in January, during meditation, I realized that I'd been angry for most of my life.  I've been angry at the world, at my parents, at pretty much everybody and everything.  Mostly at myself though, I guess.  I said it out loud, and the anger went away.  Shortly thereafter, I broke through a major grief issue.  I began dropping pounds again.

Which brings us up to date. Oct 2004.  the picture to the left is me at 242 pounds.  to the right, at 203 pounds.  Currently, I weigh 205 pounds, for a total reduction of 85 pounds.

You can really tell the difference in my face, I think. 

More detail can be found in all the past blogs.  If you're new to this section of the site, I suggest you read the Archives from the beginning.   At the suggestion of a friend of mine who encouraged me to write palmistry books for Llewellyn Publications,  I intend to compile this adventure into a book tentatively entitled Intuitive Weight Reduction.  I hope that one day, my success will help others achieve what I've accomplished.

Speaking of books, my weight-reduction BIBLE has been Lean and Mean, by Dr. Morton Shaevitz.  You can still get this out-of-print book from Amazon.  Click HERE to order it:

Now, back to the story:

April 1st, 2005 This marks the second year of this blog, and I have a confession to make: this entire blog has been a hoax.  The pictures have been modified using PhotoShop, and all the stuff I wrote about -- well, it never happened.



April 6th, 2005 For the past several weeks, I've been e-mail bombed by well-meaning folks who are worried about my soul.  These e-mails urge me to give up my "psychic ways" and repent, embrace God, and go to heaven.  That these e-mails are obviously form letters doesn't lessen their sincerity one whit, I reckon.

Well today, I got a CD in the mail --anonymously -- that was a recording (with very nice piano music in the background) of a woman's testimony of how she used to go to psychic readers for advice.  Until one night, The Lord appeared to her with his angels, and told her to STOP IT or burn in H*ll.

That's right folks -- God THREATENED her if she didn't quit going to psychic readers.  She went on to urge all psychic readers to repent and quit practicing the "Magical Arts."

Well, it cost about two bucks to send me this CD, and I appreciate the concern for my well-being in the afterlife.  However, a couple of  things gave me pause: One, it was obviously a script read by an actress, and two, I perform palm readings for two venues: for entertainment, and for private philosophical counseling.  I ain't a Fortune-Teller or Necromancer; never have been, never will be.

But most importantly,  I'm not going to change my religion over being threatened.  So please save your time and money ... I'm a lost cause!


April 10th, 2005 It occurs to me that I've been complacent about my weight reduction since I've moved to Indiana.  What can I say?  This was the most life-changing move I've ever made, on many levels, and I think that it took all my resources to cope with the process.

But, I really would like to see if I can drop to 190 pounds (from my current weight of hovering between 203-206 pounds.)  So I've decided the best way to do this is to start all over with my project.  As of today, I'm beginning a new thrust to drop the remaining 13 -16 pounds that I want to get rid of.

Using the formula of my goal weight time 11 calories per day, I come up with 2090 calories a day to attain my goal.  Currently I must be consuming 2266 calories to maintain my current weight.  So I need to eliminate 176 calories per day to do this, or add some aerobic exercise to burn off a couple hundred calories per day or so more than I'm doing now.

Can I do it?  what do YOU think?


April 10th, 2005 A couple of gems from the Buddhist literature:

"As I am, so are others;
as others are, so am I."
Having thus identified self and others,
harm no one nor have them harmed.

"In safety and in bliss
May creatures all be of a blissful heart.
Whatever breathing beings there may be.
No matter whether they are frail or firm,
With none excepted, be they long or big
Or middle-sized, or be they short or small
Or thick, as well as those seen or unseen,
Or whether they are dwelling far or near,
Existing or yet seeking to exist.
May creatures all be of a blissful heart.
Let no one work another one's undoing
Or even slight him at all anywhere:
And never let them wish each other ill
Through provocation or resentful thought."


I came across this website and am posting it here for your perusal.  It provides a lot of food for thought:  Food or Friend

There are a lot of examples of how certain cultures think of animals as food, including cats and dogs.  I found it very interesting. Beware though -- it can be distressing.

Several years ago, I had seen the BBC special mentioned in the article, which showed cats being boiled and skinned for food while fully conscious.  I have a thick skin, but I was completely horrified.  I think this special caused two of my friends to foreswear eating animals altogether.

Pete -- Food or Friend?Now, I have had some experience in this area.  About twenty years ago, I had a large black cat named Pete.  Pete was well-known in the neighborhood and roamed freely.  He was an open, trusting and friendly cat, who wasn't afraid of people, which I fear led to his downfall.  You see, we had a family who had moved in, sponsored by a church, from another country (I'm not saying which, because I don't want to stereotype.)  Shortly after the family moved in, neighborhood cats started to turn up missing. Pete disappeared too. One of my neighbors, a college professor of Physics whose cat also turned up missing, mentioned to me that the family was from a country that ate cats and dogs. I said, "Oh yeah?"  Then as what he was getting at sunk in, "Oh NO."

My neighbor knocked on the door and asked the father outright "Did you eat my cat?" (this college professor drank a lot, by the way). The father said "No," and shut the door.

Undaunted, my professor friend sorted through the garbage for the next two weeks, and excavated out several severed cat and dog's paws and a large piece of black cat skin. He showed me this grisly display, and I thought the black pelt, though somewhat desiccated, looked very familiar to me.

We reported the family to the SPCA and showed them the evidence, but nothing came out of it.  Apparently, the agent decided that the family didn't know any better and simply told them to quit!  It occurred to me that since the father denied eating the cats, he DID know better, but I let it go.

Anyway, I gave the black pelt and paws a burial near the bicycle trails and said goodbye to Pete as best I could.

All my cats since then have been strictly INDOOR cats.


June 16th, 2005 I've decided to close down this blog for a while.  I'm going to maintain my weight at 205 pounds until I'm ready for the next push.  Basically, I think my body has said "HALT!" for the present time, and I have to admit that being this much smaller has taken some getting used to.  I suspect I need some time to grow accustomed to being smaller, before trying to break the 200 pound mark.

I also intend to start work on my book, so during the course of that project, I'll come back here and make some updates.  Don't panic -- I haven't gotten obese again!   I'm maintaining myself quite well, as this recent picture shows (I'm the one second from the left).  So I’d like to leave you with this image of me, happy with my family, out from under the cloud of food addiction and in control of my life.

Thanks to all of you who have e-mailed me with encouragement.  I'll keep you posted when the project resumes.  For now, I'm going to have some fun and work on a book!




 The Return Of the BLOG

September 01st, 2005  I'm back, because I'm going to track the last 20 pounds of my reduction program.  Oh yeah -- new cat in the family:  Her name is OREO, from the previous human who provided for her (cats don't have OWNERS, you know -- only slaves).  She delights in waiting until we're asleep and attacking our helpless feet.

On April 10th, 2005, I wrote: It occurs to me that I've been complacent about my weight reduction since I've moved to Indiana.  What can I say?  This was the most life-changing move I've ever made, on many levels, and I think that it took all my resources to cope with the process.

But, I really would like to see if I can drop to 190 pounds (from my current weight of hovering between 203-206 pounds.)  So I've decided the best way to do this is to start all over with my project.  As of today, I'm beginning a new thrust to drop the remaining 13 -16 pounds that I want to get rid of.

Using the formula of my goal weight time 11 calories per day, I come up with 2090 calories a day to attain my goal.  Currently I must be consuming 2266 calories to maintain my current weight.  So I need to eliminate 176 calories per day to do this, or add some aerobic exercise to burn off a couple hundred calories per day or so more than I'm doing now.

Well, for the past six months I've neglected my exercise program almost entirely.  Oh, the lady and I go out for walks now and then, and we gallivant all over the place on weekends, but the fact remains that I slipped into a sedentary lifestyle almost without noticing it.

I have excuses, though - -I SWEAR I do (Ha ha ha ha).  I finalized my divorce in January, which was very difficult emotionally.  I uprooted my business and my life and moved to an entirely different state and market.  I remarried in June and settled down comfortably.  My notoriety here was virtually nil, and I've been marketing myself ceaselessly for months (I'm starting to get known here, finally!).

I had to start my life over, in many many ways.

I guess the hardest blow I've had to deal with was the realization that my professional peers are not my friends.  I realized that I've spent many years helping other people with their problems, helping them be successful and allowing them to benefit from my experience and creativity.  But when I needed help, I found out who my friends really were -- I had none.  I suppose it's true that the world consists of two types of people: Givers and Takers.  It dawned on me that my creativity and experience were better served to help MY career, instead of further enriching the ungrateful and self-centered.  Believe me, this was a very hard realization for me emotionally.  I 'd love to believe that we live in a society where we help each other and delight in each other's success.  But Show-Business ain't part of that society.  I know entertainers who would pimp their own crippled grandmother, if it would lead to a gig.

 Marketing, for a self-represented entertainer, consist of making cold telephone calls to all the local companies and agents, and determining if they have a need for entertainment for picnics, parties and holiday events.  This is tedious, often frustrating work, but essential in generating leads.  It also puts me at my desk making the calls, working on my computer database, and assembling promotional materials for mailing.  When I'm in full marketing mode, it's like I have THREE full-time jobs: (1) Marketer, (2) Performer, and (3) Event Planner.  In the interim, I'm working on two books right now, so add a fourth, part-time job to the list - writer.  Unfortunately, most of these occupations are sedentary in nature.

Although I'm happier now than I can ever remember being in my life, I have psychological conditions that cause me to react to stress and grief in certain, predictable ways.  Since I've moved, I have yet to establish myself with a good counselor and I've been off my meds for several months.  So I've had to confront the raw reality of my Bipolar condition without any safety net.  This has caused me numerous spells of severe depression and anxiety.  My sleep was disrupted, so I felt tired all the time.  M y meditation schedule has been sporadic too.  I've also felt extreme anxiety every time I would approach the 200-pound mark; something deep within me strenuously resists dropping below 200 pounds.

In short, I have not dealt with the major changes in my life gracefully.

Hey, don't get me wrong here -- I haven't expanded anywhere NEAR back to my almostr-300 pound stage.  But I have gained EIGHT POUNDS over the past six months, due to little exercise and some stress-related eating reactions.  My current weight is 214 pounds, still within the parameters of non-overweighntess for someone my size -- but just barely.  If I go past 225 pounds, my insurance rating changes to OVERWEIGHT status.

So I've officially rededicated myself to my weight reduction program, both for myself and my wife, who is long-suffering and tolerant of my up-and-down swings.  Having lost my Airbike when I moved, I unpacked my Nordic-Trak and began working out on it this morning.  According to the calculator bolted to the Nordic-Trak's upright pole; I uphill-skied 1.5 miles and burned off 197 calories in a 20 minute workout!

Eight pounds may not seem like much, especially to someone who dropped 85 pounds successfully.  But in my mind, I see it as the edge of the wedge.  Also, gaining weight to me represents being out of control of my life.  I'm starting to get that panicky, out-of-control feeling, so I've recognized that I have to take measures to reassemble my personal program.  Especially now that I'm starting to get busy again.

So, my goals are simple:

  • A twenty to thirty-minute aerobic workout every day, with one day off on the weekends for gallivanting around.
  • Workout with weights four days a week.
  • Mindful control of my diet, to keep it at 2000 - 2100 calories a day.  Combined with a 150-200 calorie a day burn from workout, this will promote weight reduction without depriving me of food.
  • A twenty to forty-minute meditation session a day, with a day off on weekends.

To free up time for this, I've dropped out of all my internet forums that used to occupy a couple of hours each day.  Like television, the internet can devour our quality time without our knowing it.

Notice I've expressed no doubt that I'll do this thing.  I have no doubt that I'll do this thing.  Believe me, twenty pounds isn't much to someone who has been where I've been.


September 7th, 2005  Feelin' pretty good today.  I'm down a couple of pounds and getting some calls about shows in the Indiana area. I've also found some interesting clues about my recent craving for carbohydrates.

I stumbled across an article about "Magic Bullets" for weight loss, the ongoing quest for weight loss drugs.  Topamax, an anti-seizure medication, held out some promise, but was discontinued for obesity treatment alone due to some fairly serious side effects.  It turns out that the diabetic drug Glucophage was scrutinized for a while.  The reason is because of a pre-diabetic condition called Insulin-Resistant Syndrome.  Insulin resistance is typical of Type II diabetes, from which I suffered for several years when I was severely overweight.  With Type II diabetes you produce insulin, but the body doesn't seem to know how to use it.  After I dropped about seventy pounds, my blood sugar stabilized, and after I dropped eighty-five pounds, I quit taking my Glucophage, a medicine used to treat Type II diabetes. Glocophage tricks the body into using the insulin it naturally produces into metabolizing the glucose in the blood.   Well, the main reason I quit taking it was that my insurance had run out, and I didn't have a doctor in Indiana.  Besides, I didn't think I needed it any more since my blood sugr stayed well within the normal range.  However, I held back a bottle of it just in case.  I tend to hoard meds.  I have a bottle of Percodan from my wisdom tooth extraction (hey, ya never know ...)

With Insulin Resistant Syndrome, (which, by the way, is devilishly difficult to spot) the patient tends to crave carbohydrates and sweets.  When doctors spotted this condition, they treated it with Glucophage, the test subjects lost their cravings for carbs and lost oodles of weight.

Where this interested me is that over the past few months my craving for carbs and sweets have gradually reasserted.  I tend to resist this urge most of the time, but the keyword here is MOST.  So I began taking my Glucophage again.

Within a couple of days I had dropped two pounds and lost my carb cravings.

Hmm, says I.

Obesity, in many cases, could very well be a complex amalgam of biochemical, emotional and environmental factors.  However, even if we have a chemical imbalance, we can give ourselves a head start by digging out the emotional issues and looking at them in the full light of day.

December 2nd, 2005:  I'm always amused when someone says they do not believe in Santa Claus and teach this false belief to kids.

Below is photographic evidence of the existence of Santa. This picture is from his biography that I wrote for him, entitled The World Between Two Minds, the Life and Times of E. Raymond Carlyle (his "civilian" name when he walks amongst us mere mortals.)











Yes, I've known Santa personally for years. In fact, here's more evidence from my wedding last summer:

From left to right: My friend Richard (one of Santa's elves) my father-in-law, Santa, My wife, and my son.


So don't try to tell me there's no Santa Claus. I'll laugh at your ignorance.

Happy Holidays,

John R

February 1st. 2006: I've reset my weight goals to an unbelievable low.  Now I'm shooting for 185 pounds!

When I began this project, my doctor told me that 200 pounds was a good weight for me. Of course, at the time, I weighed nearly 300 pounds. I've been hovering around 203-205 pounds, and I've arrived at the conclusion that the remaining plumpness is not loose skin, as I had thought, but some more extra weight.

I calculated the difference between a 200 pound man and a, 185 pound man.  Here are the maintenance calories for each:

To maintain 200 pounds: 2200 calories.

To maintain 185 pounds:2035 calories.

That's a reduction of only 165 calories a day!

165 calories equals: three pieces of bread; one and a half pats of butter; two cups of skim milk; ONE HALF of a candy bar.

OR: 30 minutes on an airbike or Nordic track; a mile and a half walk,

gee whiz, who would ever think it was so easy?

I'll letcha know how I'm doing.  I promise.


October 14th, 2006: The other day, a friend of mine, a fellow performer who tops the scales at 370 pounds, phoned me to say that he was following my example. He went on to say that he was making healthy substitutions to the junk in his diet. I said, "Good for you," and asked him to go on.

He said that he quit eating potatoes, bread and substituted fruit juice for soda pop. Fruit juice, he added, that he was "drinking by the gallon." I applauded his decision to make healthy choices, but I had to tell him some bad news: the choices he made were not that much healthier. Now, these are common moves made by people who want to lose weight -- they are ancient cultural sterotypes that I hear to this day when I eat a baked potato.

However, many of them are myths. Let's look into them.

Breads and Potatoes:

There are several categories of carbohydrates, but the ones most important to the weight-concious are Complex Carbohydrates. These are the ones found naturally in food, as nature intended. Refined or Simple Carbohydrates are found in processed foods and refined (table) sugar. These are not very good to have in your diet.

The body takes a lot longer to break down Complex Carbs than it does Simple Carbs. Consequently, the amount of glucose in the blood remains stable for a longer period of time. Refined Carbs, however, are consumed very quickly. This results in a "sugar rush," followed fairly quickly by a sudden lowering in blood sugar -- a "crash." This is why Simple Carbs are so addictive; like a drug, they bring us up. But inevitably, they drop us back down, and we crave more.

There are two foods proven to have the highest "Satiety Index." These are baked potatos and tomato soup. When you eat these, you feel full, comforted and satisfied. This is because both of these foods, other than tasting good, are high in fiber. Fiber, as you know, is our friend. It gives us that satifying full feeling, has virtually no impact in terms of calories, and excercises the digestive tract, which helps it work more efficiently.

So potatoes are good, as long as you don't ruin them with butter, sour cream and other fatty condiments. Here are the nutritional facts of a LARGE baked potato:

Calories: 275

Fat: 0.4 grams. There is more fat in two french-fries than in two baked potatos!

Total Carbs: 65 grams (-7 grams FIBER)=55 grams (this is 3 1/2 Carb exchanges).

Protein: 7.5 grams.

Vitamin C = 46 % of the Minimum daily requirement.

Add a little salt, pepper, Worchestershire sauce for flavor. Or 1/4 cup of cottage cheese. If you really want to perk up the health benefits, add a half cup of steamed broccoli. This is a terrific meal in itself, very filling and satisfying.

Breads, especially the Lite breads, are filled with fiber. A moderate amount of good, chewy bread -- not the white, bleached stuff you get at the store -- is a terrific item to add to your meals.

Fruit Juice Versus Coca-Cola

Now let's look at fruit juice. Here are the facts about orange juice:

Calories in 12 ounces:120

Carbs: 38 grams

Vitamin C 210% MDR

And in Coca Cola:

Calories: 140

Carbs: 49 Grams

So you see that, other than a boost of vitamin C, a look at the nutritional content, the sugars, carbs, etc reveal that there is no real advantage to preferring fruit juice over Coca-Cola. Wow!

You see, in the processing of fruit juice, you lose most of its most valuable resource: Fiber. On the other hand, let's look at the nutritional analysis of a single whole orange:

Calories: 70

Total Carb: 21 grams


Vitamin C: 120% MDR

The facts: Eat fresh fruit, it's good for you. Avoid fruit juice; it's mostly sugar and water.

October 15th, 2006: Oh, alas -- I've finally had to admit something: I'm getting old(er).

My hips and knees can't take high-impact aerobics anymore. So it's farewell to my beloved NordicTrack. i gave it to Goodwill, with the hope that it would help someone else, just as it did me.

However, I'm doing quite well on a treadmill, and looking diligently for an air bike, upon which I began this journey at a weight of 298 pounds.

November 22nd, 2006: So I got into the habit of going to the fitness center at my apartment, and had a nice thing going: 30 minutes on a bike, 30 minutes on a treadmill, another 30 or so swimming laps. Then a monkey wrench hit the fan:

Here's the back-story: a few days ago I went in for what I was assured was a "routine" procedure, one which I've been assured by many friends who have had it is "no big deal." This procedure is called a bilateral vasectomy. If you are male, whenever you hear these words, be afraid -- VERY afraid. After this procedure, which was the physical equivalent of having my male fragments stretched and torqued on a medieval rack, I swore to look up everyone who said it was no big deal and kick them in the groin. Vengeance, to usurp the Deity's prerogative, will be mine.

Unfortunately there were anatomical COMPLICATIONS, which occur when your parents are more nearly related than Donny and Marie Osmond and your gene pool looks like the latest model of Chaos theory. Because of these sub-or-semi-human anomalies, which haven't been seen in the human race since Cro-Magnon wiped out the Neanderthals, I had what the doc said was an undecended testicle. This meant that when he had to go for the little tube that leads to the old fellow, he had to DIG for it and YANK it into the light for the old snip-snip. This felt like having your testicle caught in an oarlock while sliding off a boat, inebriated, on your way into the water.

Swelling? You bet. Bruising? Oh yes ma'am, and pass the taters. Bleeding? Bless you, both blood and a weird discharge resembling what you would get by putting a garden slug in a food processor with a clove of garlic. Sympathy from my wife? Fuggeddaboudit, she's a surgical nurse, she sees people with their entire inner workings hanging out before her morning coffee. Compared to this parade of human tragedy, what's the big deal about a little thing the size of a walnut -- excuse me, the size of an ORANGE. Pain killers? Haw haw, it is to larf. Might as well be Reeces Pieces.

So brothers, if your lady friend mentions the 'V" world, go softly into that good night. Step away and find out where the wild goose goes. Become a wandering vagrant on the skin of the earth. But never, never be fooled by two words, two tiny, hideously deceptive tidbits doctors flippantly toss out:


November 24th, 2006: MY DUMBNESS, Part II:

So yesterday I felt much better, and being cooped up for 12 days was making me a bit restless. I thought, "Hey, I can go to the fitness center for a little swim. A little swim won't kill me." I did so, and while perfecting my breast stroke I apparently tore something loose. Any pain I felt before entered new dimensions; for a brief period I could actually see through time.

There have been two times in recent memory that I've cried; one was when my wife said "I do" and I realized she was stuck with me, the other was yesterday. Pictures of this event are probably circulating the Internet with a caption: "Health Club membership:$300. Vasectomy: $800. Pain-free existence: PRICELESS."

I had to go to the emergency room for professional help, though the kind of professional help I really need is not available anywhere other than Arkham Asylum. No permanent damage, but a new painkiller and even MORE inactivity. Expect new heights of wackiness as boredom and painkiller, easily one of nature's most volatile mixtures, takes its toll.

November 24th, 2006: Back in the saddle. Worked out today and did well, no pain of any sort. Weight starting to budge!

December 12th, 2006: I am the first to admit that I’ve had weight control issues during the past year. I suspect that my attention, so laser-like when focused on a single goal, has been so scattered that my food cravings had a chance to sneak in the back door, wrapping its arms around my neck and whispering sweet nothings into my inattentive ear. I simply wasn’t paying attention. I also suspect that my glucophage dosage is inadequate; my blood sugar goes up and down like the Mad Mouse at the carnival, but that’s another story. 

That said, I caught myself before things got too far out of control. My pants began to become tight, and this caught my attention. I couldn’t comfortable fit into my “small” pants (as you probably know, you have size 38s which are actual 38, and then you have size 38s that are closer to 36, depending on the cut. Those smaller cuts began to really squeeze me.

 So for the past two months I’ve been hitting the aerobics gig at the fitness center. I enjoy it; I do 25 minutes on a treadmill and another 25 on the stationary bike. Now, here is the problem: intentions do not always work out in the real world.

 I say for the past two months, but I’ve lost a lot of time during this period. I’m 46 years old, although most people think that I’m in my mid-thirties. However, my joints are starting to ache, and I’ve had some pretty severe episodes of back pain that have benched me for days at a time. It’s a frustrating thing when you WANT to work out, but your body just won’t cooperate. On November 1st, after working out for two weeks straight, I had some surgery that took me thirteen days to recover from. Then I worked out, hurt my back so badly I thought I would go crazy from sheer pain, and lost another three days. Then I got back on the routine, cautiously, and had a good two weeks of workout, increasing the intensity of my workouts. My smaller pants fit again, though still a little snug. I was in the groove again. I AM in the groove again.

 But today I’m on the bench again, not sure for how long, but my back went out without warning this morning. I have some kind of recurring sacroiliac condition that rears up with a boisterous “Peek-a-boo! Did you miss me?” and passes whenever it’s ready. Man, does it hurt, walking, sitting, lying down, it hurts no matter what. I can deal with the pain, but oh my gosh, it’s frustrating.

March12th, 2007: Hello my periodic readers, I am here again.  I mentioned earlier that I had suspected my Glucophage dosage (a drug used to regulate blood sugar in Type II diabetics) was inadequate. I did a little research and found out I was right.

As it turned out, about a year or so ago, my prescription expired at the pharmacy and my doc called in a new one -- a new one that due to an oversight was one-half the dosage required to regulate my blood sugar! I may have mentioned a conditioned called Metabolic Syndrome, where your body screams for carbohydrates due to inefficient processing of blood sugar, a condition cured with the proper dosage of Glucophage. Once my dosage was corrected, my body shut up and my weight began to drop off again. my formerly snug "smaller" pants are now fitting again. And my back problems have gone away. I suspect the temporary weight gain threw my spine out of whack.

During the year and a half I was on an inadequate dosage of Glucophage, I put on twenty pounds and my mood fluctuated all over the place. I really should have been more observant of my diabetic condition, but I tend to practice denial toward my health issues. Since my corrected dosage, I've dropped ten pounds rather easily, and will drop another ten this month. So by my birthday in late May my original reset goal of breaking 200 pounds may be well within reach.